Each week, spiritual instructor Deepak Chopra responds to Oprah.com users' questions with enlightening advice to help them live their best lives.

Q: My developed son and my husband had an argument over Christmas. Even though my hubby apologized and asked for a 2nd run a risk, my son and his fiancée accept refused to have anything to do with either of usa. My son is angry and bitter and believes he has u.s. to blame for everything bad in his life. We are devastated, merely our son is controlling the state of affairs. What can nosotros do? Anything nosotros try seems to make it worse. We had a good family until this, and not existence able to encounter him is really awful. It would exist great to have some communication that would get some healing to happen.

— Becky R., Purcellville, Virginia
Dear Becky,
Well-nigh readers would wonder if a skillful family can really exist torn apart by a single argument, however biting. There is hidden resentment hither. Your son'south feelings are totally justified as he views them and totally unjustified every bit you and your husband view them. Y'all have arrived at an impasse. When that happens, the best thing to do is back away.

I presume your son is a full-fledged adult. He may not exist interim like ane. The chances are that he is being emotionally immature—his petulance sounds adolescent equally you lot describe it. Withal, equally you say, he controls the situation. He is faced with that age-old question: Tin can you e'er get habitation over again?

The answer is yes, only there's a catch. You can become dwelling house once more afterward you are at peace with your past. I wish I had better news for you, but your son isn't at peace. He isn't reaching out to you for advice or healing. I wish he would. But for now, permit him have his distance. Put no pressure on him of whatsoever kind. Exist polite and kind on the phone if he calls. Somewhen, he will remember the good things about you and his father. When that happens, it will be upward to him to reach out.

Love,
Deepak

Adjacent: Is it possible to feel anger without blame?

Every week, Deepak will exist answering questions from readers merely like you—ask your question at present!

Deepak Chopra is the author of more than than 50 books on health, success, relationships and spirituality, including his current best-seller, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul, and The Ultimate Happiness Prescription, which are available now. Yous can listen to his show on Saturdays every week on SiriusXM Channels 102 and 155.
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Published 05/19/2010